Marriage & Relationship Counseling

Are you and your spouse constantly arguing, or barely speaking?

Has trust been damaged by an affair or secret keeping?

Is sex used as a reward for compliance?

 

When couples are disillusioned and unhappy in a relationship, it can be difficult to find the will to work things out. Or maybe one of you is pressing for change, or threatening divorce, and the other feels blamed, overwhelmed, and scared but willing to fight to stay together.

 

Sound familiar?  I'd like to help.

 

Maybe you've been arguing about your different parenting styles. Perhaps you can't agree on how to spend shared income. It could be that after the blush of romance has worn off, you wonder if you have enough in common to want to weather life's storms together. You might even be questioning why you've stayed with this person after some of the things that have happened.

 

Relationships are tricky, even when both individuals are willing to work at it. 

Let's Debunk the Top 5 Myths
about Marriage and Relationship Counseling

 

Myth #1 -- The Therapist Takes Sides

 

Nothing could be further from the truth. It is not my job to arbitrate your disputes and declare a winner and loser. In relationship therapy and marriage counseling I support both of you in coming to your own insights and conclusions about the role each plays in your current difficulties.

 

Myth #2 -- Therapy Pushes People to Stay Together

 

Some counselors do feel a personal conviction for saving marriages if at all possible.  But I view my role as helping each of you come to your own conclusions about what is best for you as couple, and then providing you with the communication and emotional balance tools to carry out your decision in a healthy way.

 

Myth #3 -- Venting Frustrations to a Stranger Won't Help

 

That would be true if that's what marriage therapy or relationship counseling amounted to -- but it's not.  In counseling you learn how to take ownership for your own feelings, and express them without anger and blame.  You'll learn how to listen carefully to your partner's hurts and needs, and how to respond in a productive manner. You'll also learn how to express your own opinions and preferences without being manipulative, controlling, or abusive. 

 

Myth #4 -- You Have to Be Crazy to Get Couples Counseling

 

Actually what you have to be is three things:

 

  • smart enough to know that your relationship could be better 

  • willing to look at your part in what isn't working 

  • open to changing habits and attitudes to get more happiness

 

It's far from crazy to be willing to self-assess, and ready to change.  In the process you'll learn new skills that will improve all the relationships in your life. 

 

Myth #5 -- Things Will Be Fine if You Just Wait It Out

 

The reality of relationships is that when hurts and resentments aren't brought out into the light, or when problems aren't effectively addressed, marriages get worse. Waiting and ignoring what bothers you makes the problem fester under the surface until one of two things typically happen -- one of you explodes in anger, or all investment in the relationship dies.  Trying to wait it out is just not an emotionally sound or practical solution. 

 

Relationship counseling improves

more than your marriage.

The only real question now is

what are you waiting for?

 

Call 574-234-3515

or email now to make an appointment.

© 2015-2016 by Abbee Smith, LCSW

227 Dixie Way No, Ste 210
South Bend, Indiana 46637

 

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If you are experiencing an emergency, call your local crisis hotline, or 911.